There aren’t very many Halloween songs. Here is my contribution to the canon.

I’ve got bugs in my bones (woooo)
I’ve got bugs in my bones (woooo)

I’ve got invertebrates in my vertebrae, I’ve got centipedes in my spine
I’ve got guys with exoskeletons inside me all the time
and everybody’s asking: Duncan, how on earth did they get in?
well my bones are pretty homey, they just knocked and went on in

I feel a little brittle and it’s making me morose
Is it the termites in my tibias or osteoporosis?
I don’t know! But my money’s on the bugs
They’re bringing tables and chairs, and rolling out the Persian rugs
And drilling holes in the walls, and they’re hanging up art
And they’re stripping wallpaper, gonna pull me apart

All my fingers full of fleas, like they’re peas in a pod
And not a vacancy in my pinky, it’s a motel arthropod

Caterpillar my patella got the run of the joint
If I was using my bones? it’s a moot - point
I didn’t think about this! I didn’t know my bones were hollow
Gonna have to come to terms, but it’s hard pill-bug to swallow

In my femur there’s a weevil cut a hole where the bones were
And then he built a balcony as big as a bone spur
These are load bearing bones! I don’t approve the renovation
Make my structural integrity an osha violation
Gonna make me bug-legged, it’s a case of the rickets
And I’m calling for help, but all that I can hear is crickets

~

On the bright side I can go and buy me a treat
With the rent from Mr. Mantis in the penthouse suite
Okay I guess it’s kind of funny that I’m prime real estate
But it’s time to get a grip and wipe that smile off your face cause

This is serious!
I’ve got bugs inside my bones
This is serious!
I’ve got bugs inside my bones!

Most people that I tell say they’ve had butterflies too
Yeah you just had your first crush; my bones are butterfly cocoons
And soon! it’ll be too much for this skeleton to handle
It’s a housing crisis! no room left in the mandible

Microbiome’s a terrarium
A caterpillar condominium

I’ve got more bugs than can be counted up inside all of my bones
It turns out it’s rolly pollies what I thought were kidney stones
And all the worms that like to burrow make me holier-than-thou
I’ve given up on my patellas they’re the bees’ knees now

Got creepy crawlies in my cranium
Yeah these bugs are really brainy, um…

I’ve got a feeling that my intellect is slipping away
Feels like nothing I can do but be a mantis and pray
That I hold on to my humanity - I’m counting the maybes
But I’m getting the urge to have a hundred thousand babies

~

I’ve got midges and marsh flies in the marrow of my bones
And moreover my metatarsals are all mosquito homes
I’ve got ants in my phalanges and my feet are filled with fleas
And if you think that i am busy, well you can thank the bees
There’s a hive inside my humerus and honey in my blood
Yes my body’s a society for every single bug

They’re holding court inside my clavicle!
Their ideology is radical!

It’s the bedbugs in my body tell me when to go to sleep
And it’s the grubs inside my stomach that say: it’s time to eat!
I’ve got itsy-bitsy spiders climbing up my waterspout
And you can probably guess where the dung beetles are hanging out

—stink bugs! in my nose!
And got earwigs! you can guess where those
They’re in my ears! and they’re banging the drums
They all want to sing the song, the song of the bugs

I’ve got bugs in my bones (woooo)
I’ve got bugs in my bones (woooo)

Yeah I’m a big bug puppet, I know what I am
I know I’m losing control, I know I’m part of a plan
Yeah I’m a big bug puppet, and I know what’s in store
Once the bugs have learned to sing, well they won’t need me anymore!
Once the bugs have learned to sing, they won’t need me anymore
No they won’t need me anymore
No they won’t need me anymore